Monday, December 22, 2008

The Twelve Days of Christmas

(To be sung in the Traditional Manner, with a

Hearty Voice and Appetite!)

...On the eleventh day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me;

Eleven full length mirrors,

Ten sunbed sessions,

Nine Jenny Craig meals,

Eight aerobic outfits,

Six abdominisers,

Five di-et plans

(pause and take a breath)

Four exercycles,

Three quarts of fake tan,

Two body scrubs,

Leg wax and a bi-ki-ni.

On the twelfth day of Christmas,

With the tact he'd just shown me;

I stuffed my true love with the tu-ur-key!

Merry Eating and Drinking to one and all, and may the recession recede as fast as the Pinot Gris.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Summer Creativity Workshops

I'm teaming up with Saradha Koirala this January to run workshops on writing and illustration for 11-14 year students- our storytellers of the future. Saradha recently won 2nd prize in the Wellington Sonnet Competition and she, like myself, are both graduates of the Victoria University IIML Creative Writing MA Programme. Saradha will be running the writing part and I'll be teaching the illustration all in my wonderful sunny studio in MT Cook. Here's the flyer; please feel free to pass it on. We are looking forward to a great summer nuturing bright young talent.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Vinished Velvet

Well here they all are; my Pin-Up Honeys. Click on the picture to see them in full resolution. My favorite is Gloria- which one appeals most to you? I hung them last night with the help of my fabulous other half Adrian- it so helps to have a tall man at your disposal, that picture rail and those hooks were a long way up! Juanita sold before she even got to the cafe, but tonight is the opening and if I haven't contacted you about it, get your own back and come and drink my bubbly at 6.30pm at the Deluxe, Kent Tce, Wellington. I'd love to see you there!

Monday, December 01, 2008

Fly My Pretty (boy child)

I waved my 18 year old off on the bus today- on an adventure north to meet up with his girlfriend, the school part of his life having finished for good and the next part of his journey through the world about to begin. I watched him climb aboard the Naked Bus Company, long hair flowing, skinny black jeans clinging and his head plugged into ‘Tool’ via MP3 player and was reminded of the last time I waved him goodbye. The following poem addressing my emotional state was published in Next magazine back in 1995…

A Free Woman

My baby's off to school,

What's that I hear you say?

Will I take up tennis now,

And laze around all day?

Or fill my empty hours,

With a little part-time job,

Mourning my lost playmate,

Whilst I earn an extra bob?

Then perhaps because I'm lonely,

For my little chickadee,

Get all kind of broody,

And start on number three?

Well I can tell you sister,

That for five long years and more,

I've been a wise apprentice

On the motherhood shop floor.

I've breastfed babes whilst working

And been desperate for sleep:

Juggling creche and preschool,

(Escape routes don't come cheap).

Real life just ain't too much,

Like the good old Brady bunch,

So I'm hanging up my pinny,

And I'm going out for lunch!